Hello,
I have an important announcement to make, so please pay close attention to what I'm about to say to you, Smogon community.
papai noel, also known as elodin the burger, is making his return to competitive Pokémon in great fashion by winning the Smogon Grand Slam V. After 4 years of playing Pokémon I realized something earlier this year: I am pretty terrible in this game. But no more. My old days of luck and skill will return as I tear through the hopeless souls in this tournament. I'll be playing like no man, but like a little god with blood in his eyes and death in his hands. Those who stand in my way will regret it deeply, as I am the only one who can be the true Pokémon master.
In order to reach this goal, I need 4 trophies on Smogon University. I currently have "1" that means "2" that means "0", because I didn't really deserve them in the first place. So I'm winning this silly tournament to prove not only that I'm a Pokémon god, but also that you don't need ghosting to win an official Smogon University tournament. After a whole year of scandals and shame in every tornament, this community needs a player as good as myself to be a role model for new players such as Newrof and NJNP, and I am willing to do that in order to improve this website. I have done it several times before.
And so, as my ultimate achievement, I will get my Tiering / Community Contributor badge from Haunter directly from jail. I'll fly over to Italy and I'll talk to a handcuffed Haunter until I convince him to give me this badge, because I'll deserve it more than anyone else out here.
Once I win this tournament (if I'm not banned by then), I'll show Smogon University what Pokémon is really about and the true meaning of integrity.