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MLB 2018 Thread
- Thread starter Stallion
- Start date
More importantly Braves are leading the league in runs right now
Play that video clip for my response.
"wAiT uNtIL tHe sOx fAcE a gOoD tEaM LiKe tHe yAnkEes"
Justice has been served, you dumb Yankee bitch boys. See you tomorrow when David Large Penis Price strikes out 20 batters.
I was waiting for your next post. Knew that pic was coming
"wAiT uNtIL tHe sOx fAcE a gOoD tEaM LiKe tHe yAnkEes"
Justice has been served, you dumb Yankee bitch boys. See you tomorrow when David Large Penis Price strikes out 20 batters.
How'd "large penis" Price end up going?
"wAiT uNtIL tHe sOx fAcE a gOoD tEaM LiKe tHe yAnkEes"
Justice has been served, you dumb Yankee bitch boys. See you tomorrow when David Large Penis Price strikes out 20 batters.
Who are you? Who are you Karim Garcia? Who are you trying to test the Large Penis , a proven player? Lets do a quick
Price check here... Beep boop beep boop. David is still sporting that sexy 2.40 ERA. Oh, and look here. The best starter on your Rangers has a 5.06 ERA.
By the way, I'm 100% down to fight any of you Yankee fans. The Red Sox and Yankees needed to fight. There should be no reason that it has been this long without punches being thrown.
I haven't been this excited for Yankees - Red Sox since that time that Dempster threw at A-Rod for playing through his steroid suspension and suing MLB for framing him for PEDs.
Good times. Need to see a Round Two tonight. Ding Ding.
Last edited:
I would take you up on this so hard.
Last edited:
Here is a story about Giancarlo Stanton. It happens to be a must read. It is a must read not because it has deals with his strike outs, the booing, the switching leagues. It has to do with his living conditions in New York. And this might be the most simultaneously perplexing story that will come out of this season.
Here is the tl;dr bullet points of the article should you choose not to read it from the source, the New York Times:
- Article attempts to say how the move to NYC might be why Stanton is struggling.
- April 1st - Stanton arrives to his NYC apartment to find the furniture he ordered did not arrive.
- He apartment needs repairs, and the construction has forced him to sleep in hotels.
- He is renting an apartment with AJ Ramos, a former teammate in Miami who now plays with the Mets.
- The article says that when Stanton was not working on baseball activities, he has been unpacking bags and has been on the phone sorting out his furniture and apartment situation.
- Stanton has also been trying to personally arrange for his father, uncle, and aunt to visit him.
- Stanton's father was interviewed and provided background about how stressed his son has been with not only the move, but with the weather and with trying to fit in with a new team in a new city.
- This article came out on April 15th, not on April fools day.
This might seem like just a regular, dumbass story to you all. It is not. I realized halfway through that my analysis and questions that I have from this article was way too long. I have turned them into chapters.
Chapter One - Stanton is Super Super Super Super Super Rich.
Lets get this straight. Stanton has the most lucrative contract in Major League Baseball history. Giancarlo is a rich motherfucker. He signed a 13 year deal worth $325 Million Dollars.
Listen to how rich this makes Stanton. Stanton makes $167,000 every single game he plays, assuming he plays 150 games a year. If you say he'll get 500 at bats a season, that's $50,000 an at bat. Which is hilarious considering Stanton at this moment has 29 strikeouts, so the Yankees have paid him $1,450,000 to strike out ALREADY.
Every single day of the year, playing or not, his contract translates to $68,493. For every HOUR THAT PASSES, nonstop around the clock, that's $2,854. Break that down to every minute, Stanton gets $48.
FOR. THE. NEXT. THIRTEEN. FUCKING. YEARS.
Baseball contracts are GUARANTEED. This also DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS OR COMMERCIAL/AD REVENUE.
Yet, Giancarlo Stanton can't afford to go out and get fucking furniture? He lives in New York City. There are bound to be MILLIONS of furniture stores all over the place. Why is he waiting to get his furniture sent to him? Lets just get new furniture.
How is Giancarlo Stanton also living in an apartment that NEEDS REPAIRS? Did he sign a lease before looking at the apartment? If so, why is he not getting an apartment that is ready to live in? MAYBE ONE THAT IS ALREADY FUCKING PRE-FURNISHED???
Yes, these are before taxes and agent fees. Yes, living in New York City is pretty expensive. But with this contact, how in the hell are you not buying your way out of this situation?
Listen to how rich this makes Stanton. Stanton makes $167,000 every single game he plays, assuming he plays 150 games a year. If you say he'll get 500 at bats a season, that's $50,000 an at bat. Which is hilarious considering Stanton at this moment has 29 strikeouts, so the Yankees have paid him $1,450,000 to strike out ALREADY.
Every single day of the year, playing or not, his contract translates to $68,493. For every HOUR THAT PASSES, nonstop around the clock, that's $2,854. Break that down to every minute, Stanton gets $48.
FOR. THE. NEXT. THIRTEEN. FUCKING. YEARS.
Baseball contracts are GUARANTEED. This also DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS OR COMMERCIAL/AD REVENUE.
Yet, Giancarlo Stanton can't afford to go out and get fucking furniture? He lives in New York City. There are bound to be MILLIONS of furniture stores all over the place. Why is he waiting to get his furniture sent to him? Lets just get new furniture.
How is Giancarlo Stanton also living in an apartment that NEEDS REPAIRS? Did he sign a lease before looking at the apartment? If so, why is he not getting an apartment that is ready to live in? MAYBE ONE THAT IS ALREADY FUCKING PRE-FURNISHED???
Yes, these are before taxes and agent fees. Yes, living in New York City is pretty expensive. But with this contact, how in the hell are you not buying your way out of this situation?
Chapter Two - The Stanton Furniture Company
When I was searching for "Stanton Furniture" in google to get the story link, Google comes back with a FUCKING FURNITURE COMPANY CALLED STANTON FURNITURE!!!
I'm betting you all of the money that Stanton could call up this fucking store right this minute and be like "Hey, furnish my apartment my next road trip and I'm going to become the spokesman of your company for the rest of time" and his apartment gets furnished.
I'm betting you all of the money that Stanton could call up this fucking store right this minute and be like "Hey, furnish my apartment my next road trip and I'm going to become the spokesman of your company for the rest of time" and his apartment gets furnished.
Chapter Three - You Need a Roommate???
I'm 24 years old. I make roughly $35,000 a year working two jobs. Me and my girlfriend rent an apartment together not only because we are in a long term relationship, but because we both couldn't afford to live by ourselves.
Giancarlo Stanon is 28 years old. He is a grown man. As previously stated, he is also a multi-millionaire. AJ Ramos is on a 1 year, $9.23 million contract for this season. According to baseball reference, Ramos has earned $20,705,000 in his professional baseball career. This is substantially less than Stanton, but I'm pretty sure that you can survive on your own with that kind of money. Especially when you're RENTING AN APARTMENT.
You might be thinking that maybe the reason why Stanton is rooming with Ramos is because they are both Latin players. Maybe they don't know English well, and maybe they're doing this out of necessity.
False. Giancarlo Stanton was born and raised in Los Angeles. He called himself Mike Stanton for the majority of his life. Stanton tried to qualify to play for Puerto Rico in the WBC last year, and they came back and said that his ancestry was too far removed and he would only be able to qualify for the USA.
If you forget, the WBC let JOHNNY DAMON PLAY FOR FUCKING THAILAND.
AJ Ramos was born and raised in Texas. He played for Texas Tech.
These guys are two normal American multi-millionaires who just end up sharing an apartment together. Let's get this straight. Either there are TV Cameras that are filming a sitcom or there are penises being inserted into buttholes and they're living together out of convenience.
Giancarlo Stanon is 28 years old. He is a grown man. As previously stated, he is also a multi-millionaire. AJ Ramos is on a 1 year, $9.23 million contract for this season. According to baseball reference, Ramos has earned $20,705,000 in his professional baseball career. This is substantially less than Stanton, but I'm pretty sure that you can survive on your own with that kind of money. Especially when you're RENTING AN APARTMENT.
You might be thinking that maybe the reason why Stanton is rooming with Ramos is because they are both Latin players. Maybe they don't know English well, and maybe they're doing this out of necessity.
False. Giancarlo Stanton was born and raised in Los Angeles. He called himself Mike Stanton for the majority of his life. Stanton tried to qualify to play for Puerto Rico in the WBC last year, and they came back and said that his ancestry was too far removed and he would only be able to qualify for the USA.
If you forget, the WBC let JOHNNY DAMON PLAY FOR FUCKING THAILAND.
AJ Ramos was born and raised in Texas. He played for Texas Tech.
These guys are two normal American multi-millionaires who just end up sharing an apartment together. Let's get this straight. Either there are TV Cameras that are filming a sitcom or there are penises being inserted into buttholes and they're living together out of convenience.
Chapter Four - The Timeline Makes No Sense
The Miami Marlins traded Giancarlo Stanton to the New York Yankees this past off season. On December 11th, 2017 Giancarlo Stanton had a press conference in New York where that trade was made official. It was one of the largest stories in the off-season and the entire sporting world was talking about this trade for months.
Once more. Giancarlo Stanton was traded in DECEMBER. This trade did not happen halfway through spring training. This trade did not happen midseason during the trade deadline. This happened 4 months before the season even began. Stanton had 4 months to properly move and set up his apartment.
Did Stanton not realize the Yankees didn't play in Miami? When spring training rolled around, did he just keep putting off trying to find a place to spend the next decade left on his contract?
Why in holy hell is Stanton just now setting up his apartment? Did he not know that you need furniture?
Once more. Giancarlo Stanton was traded in DECEMBER. This trade did not happen halfway through spring training. This trade did not happen midseason during the trade deadline. This happened 4 months before the season even began. Stanton had 4 months to properly move and set up his apartment.
Did Stanton not realize the Yankees didn't play in Miami? When spring training rolled around, did he just keep putting off trying to find a place to spend the next decade left on his contract?
Why in holy hell is Stanton just now setting up his apartment? Did he not know that you need furniture?
Chapter Five - Let My People Talk to Your People?
We have already established that Giancarlo Stanton is rich. I figured that this point needs it's own mention.
Why in the hell is Giancarlo Stanton the one on the phone talking to people trying to figure out his apartment. He has an agent. The New York Yankees ownership have to have people whose jobs it is to take care of player needs and had to have tried to help this guy get settled into the city and go to work. They've invested this much time and money on him, and yet he is over here waiting on hold fielding phone calls?
This doesn't make any sense to me. Worse comes to worse, he can take one days salary, and hire a personal assistant to fix this mess so he can focus on trying to hit some baseballs.
Why in the hell is Giancarlo Stanton the one on the phone talking to people trying to figure out his apartment. He has an agent. The New York Yankees ownership have to have people whose jobs it is to take care of player needs and had to have tried to help this guy get settled into the city and go to work. They've invested this much time and money on him, and yet he is over here waiting on hold fielding phone calls?
This doesn't make any sense to me. Worse comes to worse, he can take one days salary, and hire a personal assistant to fix this mess so he can focus on trying to hit some baseballs.
Giancarlo Stanton goes home after a game. He takes the NYC Subway System home. On the train, some meth'd out degenerate throws up on his shoes. A hooker wearing more makeup that Krusty the Clown proposes to give him a blowjob for $20. He gets off subway and opens the door to his apartment. In a scene straight out of Hey Arnold, about a billion stray animals shoot out of the door. Stanton walks in and remembers that the elevator is broken in his apartment building. He climbs 20 flights of stairs to his apartment. He opens the door, and sets his bags down.
The walls are bare. The carpet has indents from the furniture of the previous tenants. Stanton goes to his fridge, and realizes that AJ has eaten all of his totino's pizza rolls. He closes the fridge in resignation and treks to the shower to wash off the stink of the ballpark. He disrobes, steps in, and turns on the spigot. No water. He forgot. The workers were fixing the pipes.
Stanton is naked. He is cold. He is alone. He is depressed and resigned from his unrewarding job at Yankee Stadium. He goes to the area he calls his room, empty with the exception of the Derek Jeter poster he has crudely taped to his wall. He sits on the cold, hard ground. Sleep, he thinks. It can all be over soon enough. Tomorrow is a new day.
He tries to close his eyes. The ceiling begins to shake above him. Weird Mr. Furguson is laying pipe with his wife again. This is the third night in a row. You go Mr. F, he thinks.
The moaning soon subsides. Car alarms go off in the distance. A possible gunshot is heard off in the distance. A homeless man is screaming. Stanton sits there. Hours pass. Stanton is motionless, eyes wide. More hours pass. The sun begins to creep out of the horizon.
*The scene slowly transitions to black. Softly at first, but then louder, music plays.*
*Credits Roll*
Last edited:
Fuck me, how much free time do you have?Here is a story about Giancarlo Stanton. It happens to be a must read. It is a must read not because it has deals with his strike outs, the booing, the switching leagues. It has to do with his living conditions in New York. And this might be the most simultaneously perplexing story that will come out of this season.
Here is the tl;dr bullet points of the article should you choose not to read it from the source, the New York Times:
- Article attempts to say how the move to NYC might be why Stanton is struggling.
- April 1st - Stanton arrives to his NYC apartment to find the furniture he ordered did not arrive.
- He apartment needs repairs, and the construction has forced him to sleep in hotels.
- He is renting an apartment with AJ Ramos, a former teammate in Miami who now plays with the Mets.
- The article says that when Stanton was not working on baseball activities, he has been unpacking bags and has been on the phone sorting out his furniture and apartment situation.
- Stanton has also been trying to personally arrange for his father, uncle, and aunt to visit him.
- Stanton's father was interviewed and provided background about how stressed his son has been with not only the move, but with the weather and with trying to fit in with a new team in a new city.
- This article came out on April 15th, not on April fools day.
This might seem like just a regular, dumbass story to you all. It is not. I realized halfway through that my analysis and questions that I have from this article was way too long. I have turned them into chapters.
Chapter One - Stanton is Super Super Super Super Super Rich.
Lets get this straight. Stanton has the most lucrative contract in Major League Baseball history. Giancarlo is a rich motherfucker. He signed a 13 year deal worth $325 Million Dollars.
Listen to how rich this makes Stanton. Stanton makes $167,000 every single game he plays, assuming he plays 150 games a year. If you say he'll get 500 at bats a season, that's $50,000 an at bat. Which is hilarious considering Stanton at this moment has 29 strikeouts, so the Yankees have paid him $1,450,000 to strike out ALREADY.
Every single day of the year, playing or not, his contract translates to $68,493. For every HOUR THAT PASSES, nonstop around the clock, that's $2,854. Break that down to every minute, Stanton gets $48.
FOR. THE. NEXT. THIRTEEN. FUCKING. YEARS.
Baseball contracts are GUARANTEED. This also DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS OR COMMERCIAL/AD REVENUE.
Yet, Giancarlo Stanton can't afford to go out and get fucking furniture? He lives in New York City. There are bound to be MILLIONS of furniture stores all over the place. Why is he waiting to get his furniture sent to him? Lets just get new furniture.
How is Giancarlo Stanton also living in an apartment that NEEDS REPAIRS? Did he sign a lease before looking at the apartment? If so, why is he not getting an apartment that is ready to live in? MAYBE ONE THAT IS ALREADY FUCKING PRE-FURNISHED???
Yes, these are before taxes and agent fees. Yes, living in New York City is pretty expensive. But with this contact, how in the hell are you not buying your way out of this situation?
Chapter Two - The Stanton Furniture Company
When I was searching for "Stanton Furniture" in google to get the story link, Google comes back with a FUCKING FURNITURE COMPANY CALLED STANTON FURNITURE!!!
I'm betting you all of the money that Stanton could call up this fucking store right this minute and be like "Hey, furnish my apartment my next road trip and I'm going to become the spokesman of your company for the rest of time" and his apartment gets furnished.
Chapter Three - You Need a Roommate???
I'm 24 years old. I make roughly $35,000 a year working two jobs. Me and my girlfriend rent an apartment together not only because we are in a long term relationship, but because we both couldn't afford to live by ourselves.
Giancarlo Stanon is 28 years old. He is a grown man. As previously stated, he is also a multi-millionaire. AJ Ramos is on a 1 year, $9.23 million contract for this season. According to baseball reference, Ramos has earned $20,705,000 in his professional baseball career. This is substantially less than Stanton, but I'm pretty sure that you can survive on your own with that kind of money. Especially when you're RENTING AN APARTMENT.
You might be thinking that maybe the reason why Stanton is rooming with Ramos is because they are both Latin players. Maybe they don't know English well, and maybe they're doing this out of necessity.
False. Giancarlo Stanton was born and raised in Los Angeles. He called himself Mike Stanton for the majority of his life. Stanton tried to qualify to play for Puerto Rico in the WBC last year, and they came back and said that his ancestry was too far removed and he would only be able to qualify for the USA.
If you forget, the WBC let JOHNNY DAMON PLAY FOR FUCKING THAILAND.
AJ Ramos was born and raised in Texas. He played for Texas Tech.
These guys are two normal American multi-millionaires who just end up sharing an apartment together. Let's get this straight. Either there are TV Cameras that are filming a sitcom or there are penises being inserted into buttholes and they're living together out of convenience.
Chapter Four - The Timeline Makes No Sense
The Miami Marlins traded Giancarlo Stanton to the New York Yankees this past off season. On December 11th, 2017 Giancarlo Stanton had a press conference in New York where that trade was made official. It was one of the largest stories in the off-season and the entire sporting world was talking about this trade for months.
Once more. Giancarlo Stanton was traded in DECEMBER. This trade did not happen halfway through spring training. This trade did not happen midseason during the trade deadline. This happened 4 months before the season even began. Stanton had 4 months to properly move and set up his apartment.
Did Stanton not realize the Yankees didn't play in Miami? When spring training rolled around, did he just keep putting off trying to find a place to spend the next decade left on his contract?
Why in holy hell is Stanton just now setting up his apartment? Did he not know that you need furniture?
Chapter Five - Let My People Talk to Your People?
We have already established that Giancarlo Stanton is rich. I figured that this point needs it's own mention.
Why in the hell is Giancarlo Stanton the one on the phone talking to people trying to figure out his apartment. He has an agent. The New York Yankees ownership have to have people whose jobs it is to take care of player needs and had to have tried to help this guy get settled into the city and go to work. They've invested this much time and money on him, and yet he is over here waiting on hold fielding phone calls?
This doesn't make any sense to me. Worse comes to worse, he can take one days salary, and hire a personal assistant to fix this mess so he can focus on trying to hit some baseballs.
Giancarlo Stanton goes home after a game. He takes the NYC Subway System home. On the train, some meth'd out degenerate throws up on his shoes. A hooker wearing more makeup that Krusty the Clown proposes to give him a blowjob for $20. He gets off subway and opens the door to his apartment. In a scene straight out of Hey Arnold, about a billion stray animals shoot out of the door. Stanton walks in and remembers that the elevator is broken in his apartment building. He climbs 20 flights of stairs to his apartment. He opens the door, and sets his bags down.
The walls are bare. The carpet has indents from the furniture of the previous tenants. Stanton goes to his fridge, and realizes that AJ has eaten all of his totino's pizza rolls. He closes the fridge in resignation and treks to the shower to wash off the stink of the ballpark. He disrobes, steps in, and turns on the spigot. No water. He forgot. The workers were fixing the pipes.
Stanton is naked. He is cold. He is alone. He is depressed and resigned from his unrewarding job at Yankee Stadium. He goes to the area he calls his room, empty with the exception of the Derek Jeter poster he has crudely taped to his wall. He sits on the cold, hard ground. Sleep, he thinks. It can all be over soon enough. Tomorrow is a new day.
He tries to close his eyes. The ceiling begins to shake above him. Weird Mr. Furguson is laying pipe with his wife again. This is the third night in a row. You go Mr. F, he thinks.
The moaning soon subsides. Car alarms go off in the distance. A possible gunshot is heard off in the distance. A homeless man is screaming. Stanton sits there. Hours pass. Stanton is motionless, eyes wide. More hours pass. The sun begins to creep out of the horizon.
*The scene slowly transitions to black. Softly at first, but then louder, music plays.*
*Credits Roll*
Edit: are you high?
My question is how long did it take for u to write this?
Here is a story about Giancarlo Stanton. It happens to be a must read. It is a must read not because it has deals with his strike outs, the booing, the switching leagues. It has to do with his living conditions in New York. And this might be the most simultaneously perplexing story that will come out of this season.
Here is the tl;dr bullet points of the article should you choose not to read it from the source, the New York Times:
- Article attempts to say how the move to NYC might be why Stanton is struggling.
- April 1st - Stanton arrives to his NYC apartment to find the furniture he ordered did not arrive.
- He apartment needs repairs, and the construction has forced him to sleep in hotels.
- He is renting an apartment with AJ Ramos, a former teammate in Miami who now plays with the Mets.
- The article says that when Stanton was not working on baseball activities, he has been unpacking bags and has been on the phone sorting out his furniture and apartment situation.
- Stanton has also been trying to personally arrange for his father, uncle, and aunt to visit him.
- Stanton's father was interviewed and provided background about how stressed his son has been with not only the move, but with the weather and with trying to fit in with a new team in a new city.
- This article came out on April 15th, not on April fools day.
This might seem like just a regular, dumbass story to you all. It is not. I realized halfway through that my analysis and questions that I have from this article was way too long. I have turned them into chapters.
Chapter One - Stanton is Super Super Super Super Super Rich.
Lets get this straight. Stanton has the most lucrative contract in Major League Baseball history. Giancarlo is a rich motherfucker. He signed a 13 year deal worth $325 Million Dollars.
Listen to how rich this makes Stanton. Stanton makes $167,000 every single game he plays, assuming he plays 150 games a year. If you say he'll get 500 at bats a season, that's $50,000 an at bat. Which is hilarious considering Stanton at this moment has 29 strikeouts, so the Yankees have paid him $1,450,000 to strike out ALREADY.
Every single day of the year, playing or not, his contract translates to $68,493. For every HOUR THAT PASSES, nonstop around the clock, that's $2,854. Break that down to every minute, Stanton gets $48.
FOR. THE. NEXT. THIRTEEN. FUCKING. YEARS.
Baseball contracts are GUARANTEED. This also DOES NOT INCLUDE ANY PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS OR COMMERCIAL/AD REVENUE.
Yet, Giancarlo Stanton can't afford to go out and get fucking furniture? He lives in New York City. There are bound to be MILLIONS of furniture stores all over the place. Why is he waiting to get his furniture sent to him? Lets just get new furniture.
How is Giancarlo Stanton also living in an apartment that NEEDS REPAIRS? Did he sign a lease before looking at the apartment? If so, why is he not getting an apartment that is ready to live in? MAYBE ONE THAT IS ALREADY FUCKING PRE-FURNISHED???
Yes, these are before taxes and agent fees. Yes, living in New York City is pretty expensive. But with this contact, how in the hell are you not buying your way out of this situation?
Chapter Two - The Stanton Furniture Company
When I was searching for "Stanton Furniture" in google to get the story link, Google comes back with a FUCKING FURNITURE COMPANY CALLED STANTON FURNITURE!!!
I'm betting you all of the money that Stanton could call up this fucking store right this minute and be like "Hey, furnish my apartment my next road trip and I'm going to become the spokesman of your company for the rest of time" and his apartment gets furnished.
Chapter Three - You Need a Roommate???
I'm 24 years old. I make roughly $35,000 a year working two jobs. Me and my girlfriend rent an apartment together not only because we are in a long term relationship, but because we both couldn't afford to live by ourselves.
Giancarlo Stanon is 28 years old. He is a grown man. As previously stated, he is also a multi-millionaire. AJ Ramos is on a 1 year, $9.23 million contract for this season. According to baseball reference, Ramos has earned $20,705,000 in his professional baseball career. This is substantially less than Stanton, but I'm pretty sure that you can survive on your own with that kind of money. Especially when you're RENTING AN APARTMENT.
You might be thinking that maybe the reason why Stanton is rooming with Ramos is because they are both Latin players. Maybe they don't know English well, and maybe they're doing this out of necessity.
False. Giancarlo Stanton was born and raised in Los Angeles. He called himself Mike Stanton for the majority of his life. Stanton tried to qualify to play for Puerto Rico in the WBC last year, and they came back and said that his ancestry was too far removed and he would only be able to qualify for the USA.
If you forget, the WBC let JOHNNY DAMON PLAY FOR FUCKING THAILAND.
AJ Ramos was born and raised in Texas. He played for Texas Tech.
These guys are two normal American multi-millionaires who just end up sharing an apartment together. Let's get this straight. Either there are TV Cameras that are filming a sitcom or there are penises being inserted into buttholes and they're living together out of convenience.
Chapter Four - The Timeline Makes No Sense
The Miami Marlins traded Giancarlo Stanton to the New York Yankees this past off season. On December 11th, 2017 Giancarlo Stanton had a press conference in New York where that trade was made official. It was one of the largest stories in the off-season and the entire sporting world was talking about this trade for months.
Once more. Giancarlo Stanton was traded in DECEMBER. This trade did not happen halfway through spring training. This trade did not happen midseason during the trade deadline. This happened 4 months before the season even began. Stanton had 4 months to properly move and set up his apartment.
Did Stanton not realize the Yankees didn't play in Miami? When spring training rolled around, did he just keep putting off trying to find a place to spend the next decade left on his contract?
Why in holy hell is Stanton just now setting up his apartment? Did he not know that you need furniture?
Chapter Five - Let My People Talk to Your People?
We have already established that Giancarlo Stanton is rich. I figured that this point needs it's own mention.
Why in the hell is Giancarlo Stanton the one on the phone talking to people trying to figure out his apartment. He has an agent. The New York Yankees ownership have to have people whose jobs it is to take care of player needs and had to have tried to help this guy get settled into the city and go to work. They've invested this much time and money on him, and yet he is over here waiting on hold fielding phone calls?
This doesn't make any sense to me. Worse comes to worse, he can take one days salary, and hire a personal assistant to fix this mess so he can focus on trying to hit some baseballs.
Giancarlo Stanton goes home after a game. He takes the NYC Subway System home. On the train, some meth'd out degenerate throws up on his shoes. A hooker wearing more makeup that Krusty the Clown proposes to give him a blowjob for $20. He gets off subway and opens the door to his apartment. In a scene straight out of Hey Arnold, about a billion stray animals shoot out of the door. Stanton walks in and remembers that the elevator is broken in his apartment building. He climbs 20 flights of stairs to his apartment. He opens the door, and sets his bags down.
The walls are bare. The carpet has indents from the furniture of the previous tenants. Stanton goes to his fridge, and realizes that AJ has eaten all of his totino's pizza rolls. He closes the fridge in resignation and treks to the shower to wash off the stink of the ballpark. He disrobes, steps in, and turns on the spigot. No water. He forgot. The workers were fixing the pipes.
Stanton is naked. He is cold. He is alone. He is depressed and resigned from his unrewarding job at Yankee Stadium. He goes to the area he calls his room, empty with the exception of the Derek Jeter poster he has crudely taped to his wall. He sits on the cold, hard ground. Sleep, he thinks. It can all be over soon enough. Tomorrow is a new day.
He tries to close his eyes. The ceiling begins to shake above him. Weird Mr. Furguson is laying pipe with his wife again. This is the third night in a row. You go Mr. F, he thinks.
The moaning soon subsides. Car alarms go off in the distance. A possible gunshot is heard off in the distance. A homeless man is screaming. Stanton sits there. Hours pass. Stanton is motionless, eyes wide. More hours pass. The sun begins to creep out of the horizon.
*The scene slowly transitions to black. Softly at first, but then louder, music plays.*
*Credits Roll*
Insomnia leads to quite a bit of free time. You can't tell me that this article analysis isn't spot on though. There are SO MANY QUESTIONS.
It took me about 4 hours. I did it while I was saying up watching the Red Sox blow out the team with the 2nd best record in baseball for the 3rd night in a row. Red Sox play the A's this weekend, so I'll be up late into the night once more.
How you have a long-term girlfriend boggles my mind. It is as though you are making it a priority to be a literal pain in the ass to everyone else here. Are you that devoid of attention in your day-to-day life that you spend roughly 1/6th of your day writing a forum piece that A) Is completely asinine B) does nothing but underline how much of a fucking nutcase you are?
Yankees suck lmao
I love this forum
1) She goes to bed at 10:30 every night. for whatever reason and leaves me to my own devices.
2) Correct. I was that bored.
Sean Manaea
This is only the beginning.
It gives me a delightful pleasure that you're all so shocked the Red Sox lost tonight. Was it a bad loss, yes. Yes it was. Do you hate to see it as a Red Sox fan? Yes. I've never seen the Red Sox get no hit. Is it an ego check to our offense? Absolutely.
But lets get this straight. The Houston Astros were almost no hit by Bartolo Colon a few days ago. The umpires at MLB called Andrew Benintendi out on this play to preserve the No Hitter, which is objectively head scratching.
https://www.mlb.com/news/sean-manaea-no-hitter-preserved-on-reversal/c-273303418
As a baseball fan, I got to watch a no hitter tonight. As a Red Sox fan, this game counts for just one loss and hurts as much as like a 20-0 loss or a 18 inning extra innings loss. Tomorrow is a new day. The Boston Red Sox are 17-3 with David Price pitching tomorrow to try and win another series.
Don't be surprised if the Red Sox hang 15 on the A's tomorrow. This is a group of guys who are going to come out with fire in their eyes, and the baseball world better be ready.
But lets get this straight. The Houston Astros were almost no hit by Bartolo Colon a few days ago. The umpires at MLB called Andrew Benintendi out on this play to preserve the No Hitter, which is objectively head scratching.
https://www.mlb.com/news/sean-manaea-no-hitter-preserved-on-reversal/c-273303418
As a baseball fan, I got to watch a no hitter tonight. As a Red Sox fan, this game counts for just one loss and hurts as much as like a 20-0 loss or a 18 inning extra innings loss. Tomorrow is a new day. The Boston Red Sox are 17-3 with David Price pitching tomorrow to try and win another series.
Don't be surprised if the Red Sox hang 15 on the A's tomorrow. This is a group of guys who are going to come out with fire in their eyes, and the baseball world better be ready.
Oh no he's evolved into pretzels