Infpredicts: Predraft Edition
The Belchsprouts - Levi struggles with crippling anime addiction and alcoholism while still managing to keep the Sprouts afloat. This proves untenable in the long term, and after getting off to a hot start, the Sprouts drop every game but the very last in the regular season and just barely inch into the playoffs. Unfortunately their championship hopes come to an end at the hands of the evil Merritty when he hacks the crucial final match of the series and obliterates them with luck.
Gonefroggin.com Froakies - Macle gets distracted from managing by genetically engineering a new superfrog which he believes will come to subjugate humanity and hold man responsible for his crimes against the environment. He manages to create it near the end of the season and the superfrog ghosts them into playoffs. Not even the superfrog, though, can escape the divine justice known as luck and they are eliminated.
Guerrilla Goletts - Shrug abandons Pokemon to move to LA and become a standup comedian. His Netflix special composed entirely of Jared Fogle jokes is released at midseason and becomes known as one of the greatest comedy routines of all time. Meanwhile Quote searches for a replacement but nobody wants to do it. Eventually Vubon is selected to manage the Goletts and he leads his team to a late comeback but it's too little too late and they don't make playoffs.
Lit AF Litleos - OP, it turns out, is actually a Taiwanese 6 year old pretending to be OP, which explains the terrible team name. A worldwide manhunt is started for the real OP but he is never heard from again. The 6 year old is forced at gunpoint to continue managing and posting on the OP account so the authorities can avoid being publicly humiliated.
Snivy Subterfuge - It turns out that Jac is merely a puppet leader for the man behind the throne, Merritty. Merritty, schemer that he is, develops an evil plan to hack PS and SmogTours and make his team get all the luck. Luckily Zarel has Adobe Reader installed and he manages to defeat Merritty in a hacking battle. Humiliated, Merritty travels to Antarctica where he builds a complex fortress from which he will achieve world domination. Jac moves to Iowa and starts a corn farm.
Stunting Stunkys - Sken takes advantage of his good drafting skills to take time off from Pokemon and begin a new fascist regime in Spain. He is defeated and forced to retreat to Almeria, where he must post his lineups and play his games from a cracked iPod Touch. It turns out that he bears a striking resemblance to Giuliano Gemma and conspiracy theories about the immortal actor begin to pop up.
Waterless Wynauts - Melon goes on a week long water fast in protest of the ruthless mutilation of plant genitalia practiced throughout the world. He is rushed to a hospital and they stick an IV up his ass. He tries to cry but he is too dehydrated to make tears so instead he just kinda dry sobs like the girl at the end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. His team sends him a box of tulips. Rssp1 becomes manager while Melon is in the hospital and he forces everyone to use Rufflet, which goes well until somebody mistakes Rowlet for Rufflet and rssp1 blows their head clean off with a shotgun. He is imprisoned and a weakened Melon is forced to return to managing. The season doesn't go well.
Weeaboo Wailmers - Nineage drafts the greatest squadron of all time and easily wins LCPL. An eternal bond is formed between his teammates and they eventually publish a treatise redefining Pokemon as we know it. Nineage becomes Exalted Ruler of smogon.com and all Wailmers members become millionaires.
THE END :)