Hilarious junk e-mail

[Morm]

I periodically check my junk mail for fun.


Dinosaurs are the start of evolution, I'm glad I got this in my email now I understand my education far more. I love how the 2nd last line and the first line contrast in this one.

Hide

Dinosaurs are the beginning of evolution. Each and everyone after the comet hit that split the land, seperating them to different parts of the world and different climate change. As years pass by,the dino's are evolving into multiple species in nature to sustain to the specific climate. Depending on where the land went to depends on the animals evolution. The 'kangaroo,' also looks like an anteater. The 'Giant Penguin' also have some pelicans features, and are vice-versa same color. My other theory was that there was something in that comet that created the animals to geneticly mutate over time or make themimune to the ecosystem. Also, the wof-dog article on nationalgeographic.com is similar to what i mean. declinging in species causes the animals to inter-breed with another species 'similar' the their own or related, thus creatinga new species. This type of evolution will not continue if the number species decline.

Dinosaurs are only reptiles. That's it! Everything lived longer and grew larger before the flood. Since reptiles don't stop growing, they would be pretty big after growing 600 years. The Bible talks about dinosaurs. It says "dragons and serpents" many times. The word "dinosaur" was made in 1860something to describe the giantreptile fossils they found. Don't be deceived into believing evolution. The Bible is the Truth!

Tempting, tempting, I should "wright" her. I'm not sure if she likes me, she does kind of question it herself at one point.

Hide

Hello!!! How are you?
My name is Anna, i'm 31 years old. I'm from Russia. I have found yours
profile on http://www.DONTCLICKDRAGONITE12342.com/
and you have interested me. A little about myself: i'm average,
active, interesting brunette.
I live in Kazan city. I have decided wright you because I want to have
native soul in this world.
I'm lonely on many years, but man on my city is very rough and
ambitious. I think that man on your county
is more advanced and more cultural. I hope you wrigt me soon and we
learn more each other.
I have attached my photo on my profile. I like you? :) Please wright
me I need any more on this wild world.
Wright me on this e-mail: removed incase we have a dumb member
With the best regards. Anna.

Man this sounds like a fucking HOT deal.

Hide

Good day,

My name is Mr. Jeffery James I work in the Euro Lottery. I am soliciting
your assistance for a swift transfer of 4,528,000 GBP, should you be
willing to assist me in this project, and you will be giving me just 25%
of your winnings.

Just as a brief, you just have to register online; due to my position in
the company I can make it happen that you would be a winner of the above
stated amount. Naturally, every body would like to play a lottery if they
are assured of winning. I am assuring you today to be a winner, please do
not take me for granted this once in a life time opportunity as we both stand
to collectively gain from this at the success of the transaction.

Should you be willing to assist me in this transaction please do respond to
E-mail:removed incase of stupids

Regards,
Mr. Jeffery James
Tel: removed to prevent lmitchell from ruining his life

 

[monkfish]

that poor woman... i bet you didnt even reply

 

[Morm]

I wanted to but she sends mixed messages I need affirmative liking

I like you? :)

 

[Lanturn314]

I wanted to but she sends mixed messages I need affirmative liking

You cheating bastard! *slap*

 

[iDunno]

From: Wanda Montgomery - New Email

Hi all;
Wanted to let you know that I got my computer fixed, but had to get a new e-mail.
It is wanda_montgomery@q.com
Wanda

From Me - Congratulations

congratulations but i honestly have no idea who you are

Sent from my iPhone

From: Wanda - What do you mean??!

Dean;
What the heck do you mean ,you don't know who I am. I told you I had to get my e-mail changed.
I'm just trying to let all my family know. See you on daddt's birthday.
love
Wanda

From: Me - Rude response

lol ok crazy person

From: Wanda - Prayer

In 1952 President Truman Established one day a year as a
"National Day of Prayer."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 1988 President Reagan Designated the First Thursday in May of each year as The National Day of Prayer.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In June 2007 (then) Presidential Candidate Barack Obama Declared that the USA "Was no longer a Christian nation."
---------------------------------------------------------------
This year President Obama Canceled the 21st annual National Day Of Prayer ceremony
At the White House under the ruse Of "not wanting to offend anyone"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

BUT... On September 25, 2009
From 4 AM until 7 PM, A National Day of Prayer
FOR THE MUSLIM RELIGION
Was held on Capitol Hill, beside the White House. There were over 50,000 Muslims In D.C. That day.


HE PRAYS WITH THE MUSLIMS!

I guess it doesn't matter If "Christians"
are offended by this event - we obviously don't count as
"anyone" anymore.

The direction this country is headed should strike fear in the heart of every Christian, especially knowing that the Muslim religion believes that if Christians cannot be converted, they should be annihilated.

This is not a rumor – Go to the website to confirm this info: ( http://www.islamoncapitolhill.com/ )

Pay particular attention to the very bottom of the page: "OUR TIME HAS COME"
I hope that this information will stir your spirit.

The words of 2 Chronicles 7:14
"If my people, who are called by my Name, will humble themselves and pray,
and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from Heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

We must pray for our nation, our communities, our families, and especially our children. They are the ones who are going to suffer the most.
.
If we don't PRAY may God have mercy.
IN GOD WE TRUST.

Time For God

Read only if you have
Time for God
Let me tell you, make sure you read
All the way to the bottom.
I almost deleted this email but I was blessed when I got to the end




God,
When I received this
E-mail, I thought...


I don't have time for this...
And, this is really
Inappropriate during work.



Then, I realized that this kind
Of thinking is.... Exactly, what
Has caused a lot of the problems
In our world today.




We try to keep God in
Church on Sunday morning....





Maybe,
Sunday night...


And, the unlikely event
O f a midweek
Service.


We do like to have Him
Around during sickness....



And, of course,
At funerals.


However, we don't have
Time, or room, for Him
During work or play...


Because.. That's the part of
Our lives we think... We can,
And should, handle
On our own.


May God forgive me
For ever thinking...



That... There is a time
Or place where..


HE is not to be
FIRST
In my life.


We should always
Have time to remember
All HE has
Done for us.




If, You aren't
Ashamed to
Do this...



Please follow the
Directions.


Jesus said, 'If you are
Ashamed of me, I will be
Ashamed of you
Before my Father.'


Not
Ashamed?


Pass this on ONLY
IF YOU
MEAN IT!!



Yes, .....

I DO
Love God.



HE is my source of
Existence
And Savior.



He keeps me functioning
Each and every day.
Without Him, I will be
Nothing.
But, with Christ,
HE strengthens me.
(Phil 4:13)

This is the
Simplest test.

If You Love God...
And, are not ashamed of
All the marvelous things
HE has done for you...


Send this to ten people
And the person who
Sent it to you!

Now do you have the
Time to pass it on?

Make sure that you
scroll
through to the end.


Easy vs. Hard

Why is it so hard to tell
the truth but Yet so
easy to tell a lie?

Why are we so sleepy
in church but Right when
the sermon is over we
suddenly wake up?

Why is it so easy to
delete a Godly e-mail,
but yet we forward
all of the nasty ones?


Of all the free gifts
we may receive,
Prayer
is the very best one.....

There are no costs,
but wonderful rewards...

GOD BLESS!

Notes: Isn't it funny how
simple it is for people
to trash God and then
wonder why the
world's going to hell.

Isn't it funny how
someone can say
'I believe in God'
but still follow Satan
(who, by the way,
also 'believes'
in God).

Isn't it funny how you
can send a thousand
jokes through e-mail
and they spread like
wildfire, but when
you start sending
messages regarding
the Lord,
people think twice
about sharing?


Isn't it funny how
when you go to forward
this message, you
will not send it to many
on your address list
because you're not
sure what they believe,
or what they will think
of you for sending
it to them

Isn't it funny how I can
be more worried
about what other
people think of me
than what God
thinks of me.



I pray, for everyone
who sends this to
their entire address
book, they will be blessed
by God
in a way special for them.


And send it back to the
person who sent it,
to let them know that
indeed, it was sent
out to many more.​

​

​

The Time has Indeed Come!

It’s time we stood up for the Constitution of the United States of America and protect our grandchildren’s rights.



The time has come to get our Nation returned to--We the People. Members of OUR House and

Senate have proven themselves steadfast and on track as long as WE pay their bills..

It doesn't matter if one is Democrat, Republican, Independent, Libertarian or whatever, this affects all.

Governors of 35 states have already filed suit against the Federal Government for imposing unlawful burdens upon them. It only takes 38 (of the 50) States to convene a Constitutional Convention.


This will take less than thirty seconds to read. If you agree, please pass it on.



For too long we have been too complacent about the workings of Congress. Many citizens had no idea that members of Congress could retire with the same pay after only one term, that they specifically exempted themselves from many of the laws they have passed (such as being exempt from any fear of prosecution for sexual harassment) while ordinary citizens must live under those laws. The latest was to exempt themselves from the HealthcareReform ... in all of its forms. Somehow, that doesn't seem logical. We do not have an elite that is above the law.


​

I truly don't care if they are Democrat, Republican, Independent or whatever. The self-serving must stop.

A Constitutional Convention is a good way to do that. And, with the advent of modern communication, the process can be moved along with incredible speed. There is talk out there that the "government" doesn't care what the people think. That is irrelevant. It is incumbent on the population to address elected officials to the wrongs afflicted against the populace...you and me. Think about this...

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only
3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail, before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

I'm asking each addressee to forward this Email to a minimum of twenty people on their Address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one proposal that really should be passed around.

Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution:

"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States."

You are one of my 20+.

Keep it going.

​

This e-mail contains privileged and confidential information intended for the use of the addressees named above. If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, you are hereby notified that you must not disseminate, copy or take any action in respect of any information contained in it. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender immediately by e-mail and immediately destroy this e-mail and its attachments.

From Me - -__-

who are you and how did u get my email?

Incidentally, the emails have finally stopped. What is the lesson here, Kids? Not everyone is a spambot. Sometimes they're just idiots.

 

[Morm]

I believe the thread is entitled Hilarious Junk e-mail

 

[iDunno]

I'm sorry, I tried :(.

 

[Nielsie]

Sometimes I also take time to visit my own and have fun about it.

 

[Thorns]

best bump of 2012

 

[Danmire]

i bet that account was made just for that one post.

 

[aurora]

I got so confused when I saw this thread pop up and saw the creator's name as Morm, and thought "that's impossible"...

Turns out it was just a 17 month bump.

 

[Glen]

morm's legacy lives on

 

[Glen]

not

 

[DM]

I get the strangest feeling Nielsie is referring to masturbation