Are you in love?

[Polis4rule]

I guess they love to hate

 

[umbarsc]

Akuchi and Lexite really need to stop using every new Congregation thread as another front for their hate war, especially this one because it is supposed to be about love. :(

There I said it.

"Oh! Come on you people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another right now!"

Sorry, it just really made me think of that song. =P


To add something relevant to the conversation, no, I have never been in love. I thought I was a couple of times, but it was merely infatuation. Maybe someday I guess.

 

[Articanus]

If someone said that to me, I'd probably think they was suggesting that I should be grateful for even being asked out by them.

I was saying that I liked her enough to ask her about, which was my response to the question "how much do you like me?"


She shrugged her shoulders.... wasn't there a smile or any thing like that? Didn't she say anything else that showed she had similar intentions of asking you out!?
No there wasn't


I'm not quite sure what you mean when you say "you asked for another moment"? And did you really shout yes infront of her, if so, was that necessary?
I asked for a moment so I could yell yes, which was quite necessary.

If a girl asked me out and she shouted yes at the top of her lungs, I'd find that weird.
I am weird



Wow.




Edit: I apologize if my post comes of really negative. I just found a few things surprising. You and Amy will probably end up happily married or something.
lol

I met someone I love also, we were going out and still have alot of feelings for each other. But because of Family and Religious differences, their won't be any future for us. As her family comes before me...

update main story btw: look for the second line

 

[Zero]

Once, yeah. Doubt it'll happen again.

 

[TomD]

Probably. Could just be a case of me wanting what I can't have though.

 

[Theorymon]

Yes, I fell in love with Math and Physics years ago.
On a serious note, I have never been in love, as I'm not a very social person.

 

[Iamslow]

Math's cool, but I'm more of a History man.:nerd:

My first experience with love was much more typical than the one I stated before, but also much more painful, ironically because she was so nice to me. It took me awhile to get over, but when I did, I realized that we were drifting apart and that she really didn't have much to like about me in the first place back then; I was more of a charity case than anything.

and Articanus, it's nice to see a positive update. I hope this continues to go well for you.

 

[Imran]

I am in love, and it feels nice to admit it, I hope also that gormenghast can see this topic, as it fullfills his aim in life ^_^ and a very noble one too. I am only 17, and about 6 months, just over. I have been with Katy for nearly three years now, which looking back is quite incredible. People say it's a little too serious for our age, but I'm not too bothered really.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, I'm happy."

EDIT: Have read somemore of this thread, and am pleasent relieved. Many of these stories are unhappy, but that I'm sure is a learning process, although to call it that in akuchi's case is going a bit far, but I am happy that it worked out for you =D This thread has made my day in a weird sort of way, thanks art.

 

[ivar]

Here's my love story.

Met a girl named Jenn who was great--totally cool, kinda like a best friend. We'd hang out and it was natural--not nearly as contrived as some of my other "romances". I'll spare you the details, but the days amongst ourselves and our friends were comprised of smoking weed all day and laughing all night; I know it doesn't sound special, but it was alright. Hell, you might even say I was in love. We shared secrets and stories and good times. Then I found out she had a boyfriend in another province, whom she was madly in love with.

Fuck.

 

[ViVi]

(tl:dr)Amanda and I had been off and on for 5 years, straight for the last 2. Then we broke up and she made it perfectly clear she didnt want to be back together ever.

So even though everything inside me believes that we should be together, one of those 'I know 100% fact that she is the one' type of deals, we arnt. So Im dating someone else, and while I do like her, my heart still is with Amanda.

What to do? A part of me feels like if I still have feelings for Amanda I should stick it out and see if anything gets fixed with us, but at the same time I dont believe they will anytime soon (if ever) and I need to live my life. And then theres the whole fact of me being an asshole for dating someone when im in love with my ex..but its more like a feeling that i cant make go away, i dont sit there and think about my old gf when im with my new one or anything. Its just when Im around Amanda or hear about her I know that those feelings are there.

 

[thecrazylazyguy]

Yes and I think she is amazing, She speaks for languages loves the food that I do. Loves how I cook. Loves to have a good time. Likes to watch basketball and football my two favorite sports. We hang out and its always so natural I never had to force myself to do anything it all kinda just flowed. I met her a 4 years ago in an AP class. She came on to me and she is really hot, she has awesome curves 36 26 38 and the prettiest eyes I have seen they are green with like a sun of yellow with long dirty blonde hair that lightens up in the sun light. I think she is amazing. And all my friends like her and my mom loves her too. Best of all she loves me too. But we are in this in awkward stage she doesnt want to get married but I dont either at least not until I finish my degree but she is afraid of commitment so we just dont talk about it, excpt she does randomly because you cant always understand girls I just dont take it too seriously because I know how she feels

 

[Wishy]

I never been in love myself, and I absolutely hate when couples say they 'love' each other after knowing each other for what, 3 days? Makes me sick (not like those relationships last).

I haven't really been in any decent relationships yet, but there is this girl I like a helluvalot. I'm a shy guy sometimes, so it was really hard to try to talk to her and she is pretty independent chick too. But we've gone from barely talking, to talking, and texting all the time. She gives me this warm bubbly feeling inside and whenever we talk I feel just some more happier. I dunno though, I'm just worried about being hurt... again. :s

Update on my situation: My feelings have gone from 'kinda liking her' to 'can't get her outta my goddamn head'. I feel really torn up inside, because I really want to tell her and get it off my chest but I don't want to end up with the 'can we be just friends?' card. Whenever I see her with other guys alone, I get extremely jealous because I want her to be with me, but I realize she has the goddamn right to be with whomever, even if it does kill me inside.

I don't know what to do because I'm really getting head over heels for this chick, but I'm too much of a pansy to tell her... I don't want to ruin whatever bond we have now, yet I want an even greater one. I need some advice.

 

[Iamslow]

You sound like your not satisfied with the way things are now, though you still value your friendship enough to be cautious. Sounds like a gamble there, Wishy. I think you just have to decide weather what you may get is worth possibly losing what you already have.

But if you really aren't satisfied, I say go for it.

 

[DM]

Wishy: speaking from not only personal experience but also the personal experiences of men going back years and years and years: DON'T TELL HER. The chances that she returns any feelings for you aside from friendship are incredibly slim, and once you tell her what you feel there is no taking it back. It will make your friendship with her very awkward for a long time, possibly even leading to its end.

But there is that small off chance that it is something. If you're willing to take that risk then more power to you.

 

[akuchi]

Personally I'd tell her.
There is nothing that can get in the way of a relationship that was meant to be.

 

[Objection]

Personally I'd tell her.
There is nothing that can get in the way of a relationship that was meant to be.

How does he know that it's meant to be? There's absolutely no way whatsoever of knowing for certain whether it's meant to be or not, and as long as there's a chance that she isn't in love with you, it's not worth the risk. That's how I see it.

 

[akuchi]

He doesn't, I didn't say he did; but I'm saying the friends thing shouldn't let him get in the way of making his feelings known. I think 90% of love is about risk and hurt, but the small remainder is worth it.
I don't think better to have loved and lost than never loved atall, but I do think if you're in love it's better to put yourself out there and risk getting hurt than slowly killing yourself over a love that you never even tried to make happen.

 

[Objection]

I think 90% of love is about risk and hurt, but the small remainder is worth it.

Have you ever been hurt like that? If so, how can you say that the small remainder is worth it when the more painful outcome is by far the more likely one?

EDIT: In my current frame of mind, anything less than a 100% chance of success might as well be a 0% chance of success because the penalty of failure is destructive.

 

[DM]

I think men and women think dramatically differently on this topic, because I'm with you Objection. I've been there, I've felt the hurt, I've lost the friendships... not fucking worth it.

 

[thecrazylazyguy]

I been there before you might as well tell them and if you lose them well that is how life goes some times.

 

[Zeromus EG]

Awh after reading this thread I've got all happy, though a lot of it is like "I don't know what to do", there's the few ones that get you all warm inside.

On topic: Yes I'm in love. I've known my current girlfriend since we were 10, at school. We were just friends up until we were 15, when I started being interested in her vice versa.

Turns out she also liked another guy, and when we both asked her out (coincidentally within 2 days of each other) she went for the other guy. She immediately realised it was a mistake and dumped him when he tried to stick his tongue down her throat when he was drunk at a party.

So then after a year of us still fancying each other, but being left awkward after her rejecting me, I finally decided that before we both went off to different colleges at 16, I'd make sure I asked her out because I knew that I'd regret it forever if I didn't.

So I asked her out, she said yes by the same evening and we've been going out since.

I think going from friends to partners is quite awkward, but now we've been together just under 5 months, I've known her for 7 & 1/2 years and we're both absolutely in love.

5 months may seem quite early, and I haven't been in love before, so I suppose you can't be certain. But I do know that there's nobody else I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. I mean hell, we were speaking about wedding stuff earlier this month (not in a wierd way, more jokingly).

We're going to Paris together in May too yay.

I know that this probably won't be read by a lot, but it makes me happy being able to speak about all this, even if it is on the Internet :)

 

[akuchi]

Have you ever been hurt like that? If so, how can you say that the small remainder is worth it when the more painful outcome is by far the more likely one?

EDIT: In my current frame of mind, anything less than a 100% chance of success might as well be a 0% chance of success because the penalty of failure is destructive.

Yes, I've been hurt like that. Right now I'm feeling, to paraphrase the fantastic Charlie Brooker, like love has drop-kicked it's way through my chest and voided it's bowels onto my soul. I'm an alcoholic. I'm on shit-tons of medication that sometimes, like last night, I forget to take because I'm too pissed. I wake up crying a lot of the time. My life is completely ruined, I gave up everything for that boy and it didn't work. Blah blah emo pity party but yes, I get how completely, horribly annhiliating it is.
Which, sadly, has not killed my romantic nature. I didn't think I could ever get with him, either, because he was my teacher. But we could, and did, and whilst it was good it was wonderful.
I'm not saying she reprociates his feelings. Only she could know and she may not even know herself. What I am saying is that initial pain of putting yourself out there and doing it, whilst scary and nasty, is worth it in terms of risk/reward. Either way, if it is love, you are going to get your heart broken. May as well do it properly rather than looking back on it for years and wishing you had; the worst regret is thinking back on that thing you wish you'd done. And if it doesn't work out, so be it, if she shoots you down, that's life. But if she doesn't and you make a relationship work for however long? That's better than life.

 

[Master Mikaruge]

I'm not sure if you should tell her. If she hangs out with guys, there's a chance that shes probably going out with one of them, and if you tell her....
Something bad might happen.

 

[Altmer]

I'm with akuchi all the way.

 

[Objection]

What I am saying is that initial pain of putting yourself out there and doing it, whilst scary and nasty, is worth it in terms of risk/reward. Either way, if it is love, you are going to get your heart broken.

Then for me, love is not worth it unless it just happens to me. The best I can do is wait for an unforeseeable miracle, and I could be waiting for a long time.

To be honest, though, by abstaining from love, what am I really missing out on?