Denied How (Im)mature Players Deal with Hax on Pokemon Showdown (Satire)

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chuckaboomboom

I believe I can HM02
This article idea was inspired by the following article: http://www.smogon.com/player/issue11/not-to-appeal

I would like to write a satirical article on how some players on Pokemon Showdown react to hax during battle. I'd like to write the article as if it was a legitimate guide and use a serious tone. The article will be written from the perspective of the immature player. I'll poke fun and jest at some of the immaturity shown by players when they are on the receiving end of hax.


Article Outline:

Introduction
-We've all had the utter misfortune of playing a Pokemon battle in which we were extremely unlucky
-However, we must stand up for ourselves and make sure the opponent knows how furious we are
-It's very logical. The opponent only won because I missed Stone Edge. He got lucky and he shouldn't have won. I have to make sure that my opponent knows that through chat. It's only fair.

Add in a chat box (have an example dialogue)

Step 1- Say it to the opponent's face
-We live in a world of liberty, fairness, and freedom of speech.
-Say it bluntly, as blunt as you can.
-Make sure the opponent knows that he is trash and that he got lucky
-Make sure to repeat it
-Just in case, repeat it again
-Heck, I need to make sure that the opponent knows how much pain he is causing me because he avoided that Stone Edge. Repeat the previous message again, this time in capital letters

Example dialogue:
MaturePlayer: gg, you got so damn lucky
ShowDownLife: wut
MaturePlayer: i missed stone edge, you'll so lucky, i got haxed out
ShowDownLife: stone edge wouldn't have killed... it didn't matter...
MaturePlayer: shut up, you noob, don't even talk
MaturePlayer: i missed stone edge, you'll so lucky, i got haxed out
MaturePlayer: I MISSED MY STONE EDGE U LUCKY NOOB

Step 2- What, the opponent won't submit to my will and accept that he's a trash player and got lucky? Add in profanities and racial insinuations to my messages.
-A simple f*** you won't do. We'll have to add in every single profanity of the English language into our message. Something like, "Shut the f*** up, you b*****, I'll f***ing wreck you *@#**!@$*!" is somewhat acceptable.

Add in a chat box (have an example dialogue)

Step 3- Explain to the opponent what happened in the battle, and why he is a completely trash player that relies on luck.
-Even if the hax didn't matter, point it out and make it sound like it did matter. It's perfectly ethical since the opponent committed the first offense- being extremely and unjustly lucky.
-Stretching the truth is perfectly acceptable. For justification, see the previous sentence.
-Make sure the opponent knows about every single misplay he did in that match; belittle him for it
-To reinforce the fact that the player is trash, open up his rating and make fun of him. It doesn't matter if his rating is good. Just say you checked it out and say that his rating is a joke.

Add in a chat box (have an example dialogue)

Step 4- Make insinuations about his mother, grandmother, and great-great grandmother.

Add in a chat box (have an example dialogue)

Step 5- Wait for the opponent to play his next battle. Then join the battle and make sure to let everyone know how trashy and lucky your previous opponent was.
-It is helpful to copy "F*** YOU* and repeatedly paste it into the game chat

Add in a chat box (have an example dialogue)

Step 6- etc. I'll add more steps

Add in a chat box (have an example dialogue)

Conclusion
Now that you've told you've lamented to your opponent, you'll make sure that justice is served and that you opponent will cry in shame at what happened.
 
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Quarkz

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is a Site Content Manager Alumnusis a Forum Moderator Alumnusis a Top Smogon Media Contributor Alumnus
Due to a large scale reform currently taking place, we cannot approve this article. We apologise for this inconvenience, but this article will be denied (as will all other articles currently pending approval). Please look out for new information which will hopefully be available soon, as there will still be opportunities to write PS articles in the future.

Thank you.
 
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