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Kingler
Zystral
Please read my comments.
Kingler
saw it n_n
well i did word quite a lot of it poorly, sorry for that :/
well i did word quite a lot of it poorly, sorry for that :/
Zystral
Like I said, don't take it in a bad way. This is now not something that you can just work on and improve, it is something that takes experience. But I think you are capable. Keep trying, and tag me when you think you have improved your prose.